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Reflection today may minimize regret tomorrow

I came across an intriguing book review this week.

I came across an intriguing book review this week. The book, entitled, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing” was written by Bronnie Ware, who worked for many years as a palliative nurse in Australia. Her list of regrets were collected from dying patients during the last 3-12 weeks of their lives. (Incidentally, we need to recognize that regret isn’t always bad...it promotes change and indicates that we care and that we are human)

I didn’t purchase Ware’s book, but I downloaded a sample so that I could read parts of it and consider the five main regrets that she’d listed. I wanted to compare her list with my own observations in pastoral ministry.

Her number one was, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Second, she heard many say, “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” Ware adds that this regret, “...came from every male patient that I nursed.” Ouch! (my comment)

The third regret was, “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.” I would think that this one dovetails with number one, and I would also suggest that the failure to do so may very well result in some of the illnesses incurred.

Number four, “I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.” I’m reasonably certain that this regret begins long before we land up in palliative care.

Finally, her number five is, “I wish I’d let myself be happier.” I couldn’t help but wonder if at least a partial fulfillment of the first four wouldn’t be reparative with respect to number five.

There are several points of commonality with her list and the things that I’ve heard as a pastor. Probably the top three that people have told me are, “I wish I had spent more time with my family and friends, I regret that my priorities were often out of order”, and third (that scary one about us men), “I wish I hadn’t worked so much.”

My role, though connected to and sometimes even concurrent with, is diverse from that of nursing staff. Because of this, in my pastoral function, there is another regret that I will occasionally, if not often hear from people.

Many of those who have been connected with God earlier in their lives will express remorse that they did not take very much time for Him on life’s journey. Conversely, those who have had little or no connection with the Lord and then turn to Him in their last days, often make statements like, “I wish I had believed in Him sooner!”

Hmmm...Reflection today may minimize regret tomorrow.

FAITH & REFLECTION