Looking for sleep in all the wrong places

.

LORI WELBOURNE/Guest Columnist

My mother-in-law has trouble falling asleep. I, on the other hand, have the opposite problem.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been nodding off against my will. It started back when I was in high school, snoozing head down on my desk and I’ve been doing it ever since.

I could be typing at my computer, attending an important business meeting, watching a terrific movie, or driving my car and I suddenly feel exceedingly tired, my eyes begin to close and my head starts to bob. I had to pull over to the side of the road a few days ago and have a little cat-nap before I could safely drive again.

“You don’t get enough sleep,” my friend counselled when I arrived at her place. “You need more rest.”

But even when I get lots of sleep I still struggle with staying awake when I’m sitting still for long periods of time.

Not only can it get dangerous, it can also be embarrassing. I’ve suddenly woken up with a snore and a snort during meetings, startling everyone in the room including me. That’s not exactly the great impression I want to make.

Yet I wasn’t worried about nodding off when I started seeing a hypnotherapist. On the contrary, I figured I could get a little shut eye while seeking guidance and focus in my life. But Byron from Kelowna Counselling Hypnotherapy Centre said it didn’t work that way.

“You are actually in an awake state during hypnosis,” he explained. “You’re just in a state of relaxation to give you a rapport with your unconscious. To fall asleep wouldn’t serve you.” Bummer, I thought, as my eyelids became heavy and I began to nod off anyway.

Of course, I’m not always that tired. But today I’ve had three cat naps, two more than usual. I feel like my father-in-law.

“It’s probably a lack of something in your diet,” another friend told me. “You must have an iron deficiency.”

“But I eat more spinach than Popeye the Sailor Man,” I responded, convinced that the culprit was something else entirely.

“Sitting still is what puts me to sleep,” I said. “That’s why I eat.”

My rationale there is that the act of eating will keep me awake since I’ve never fallen asleep in the movie theatres while still shoveling popcorn into my mouth. (Though I have been known to nod off while an M&M melted on my tongue.)

Now I try to come prepared for those times that I anticipate an unwanted siesta and will make sure I have a coffee or snack to keep me occupied for all the times I’m required to sit still.

Like now. While writing this column I have consumed a glass of ice water, a bowl of cherries, and a spinach salad so big that it would’ve brought tears to Popeye’s eyes. Now it’s time for a well deserved cat-nap.

Just Posted

Liberals take aim at responsible gun owners

E-petition against Bill C-71 is largest in history of Parliament

Puff, puff, pass: Cannabis is officially legal across Canada

Alberta readies itself for cannabis sales with 17 stores (for now) and a new provincial website

Wm. E. Hay hands out awards

High School students honoured

Mellow opening to B.C.’s only legal pot shop

About five people lined up early for the opening of the BC Cannabis Store in Kamloops.

Red Deer RCMP at Coronation Park for sudden death investigation

Citizen reported seeing a deceased male on an embankment by the north bridge

Black market will thrive until small pot growers and sellers included: advocates

Advocates say the black market will continue to thrive until small retail shops and craft growers are included in the regime.

Goodbye cable, hello Netflix: 1/3 of Canadians cut the cord

Just under half of households no longer have a landline phone

‘Some baloney’ in assertion Canada’s pension fund has highest ethical standards

The Canadian Press Baloney Meter is a dispassionate examination of political statements culminating in a ranking of accuracy on a scale of “no baloney” to “full of baloney”.

In Mexico Beach after Hurricane Michael, some coming home find no home

State emergency management officials said some 124,500 customers across the Panhandle were still without power Wednesday morning and 1,157 remained in shelters.

Man linked to Saudi prince at consulate when writer vanished

Saudi Arabia, which initially called the allegations “baseless,” has not responded to repeated requests for comment from The Associated Press over recent days.

Manhunt in Crimea for possible accomplice in school attack

An 18-year-old student, who later killed himself, was initially believed to be the only one involved

Police hand out a few hefty fines for allegedly violating Cannabis Act

Police in Canada posted a photo of a $215 ticket given to someone who allegedly had a baggy of marijuana in their car

Most Read