I performed an out-of-town wedding recently for a couple that I met with only twice. This is atypical because I usually require 4-5 pre-marriage counseling sessions. The young couple were refreshingly uncomplicated and visibly taken with each other.
In their ceremony I mentioned to them that, due to both distance and their aforementioned demeanor, they had received “the reader’s digest version” of my pre-marriage counseling. I added that there was such a glow about them that I didn’t have to turn the lights on in my office for three days after their visit.
However, it is interesting how quickly the infatuation can turn into agitation with some couples...sometimes only a few weeks down the road. And this can take place for a myriad of reasons...most of which when placed under close scrutiny are the result of mountain climbing over molehills.
I have heard that one of the primary frustrations with couples is determining who is in charge and of what. I have also heard that the biblical delineation for the roles of married couples is archaic and nonfunctional. Quite the contrary! The Biblical description of what a marriage should be, not only provides a description of roles, but lays the groundwork for perennial harmony in marriage.
The benchmark for this issue is found in Genesis chapters 1 – 3. When I began my ministry in the 70s, the feminists would go absolutely “ape” at the mention of this text. But in this passage it is clear that both Adam and Eve were created in the image of God establishing equality. However, within the equality, it is obvious that God intended diversity with respect to order and function.
The order is evident by Eve being named a “suitable helper” for man. Ephesians 5:22 – 25 and 1 Corinthians 11:9 also highlight this fact, but none of these passages contradict equality of the genders.
Going back to the benchmark passage...Genesis 2:20 employs the Hebrew word “ezer” for Eve being Adam’s helper. Again the feminists bristled at this, but “ezer” is also used several times in the Old Testament to describe God in His relationship to man; obviously then, this word does not indicate inferiority.
Another hotspot traditionally has been Ephesians 5:22 where we read, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” Admittedly, if this verse stood alone, things would be a little lopsided. But this passage is preceded by verse 21, “submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God” and post scripted by, “husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it”.
God says that married couples are, “...equal partners in God’s gift of new life...” (1 Peter 3:7). Don’t lose the glow!
FAITH & REFLECTION