When Bobbi Sudberry of Arizona, US told the story of how her stepdaughter Kaity had become entangled in an abusive relationship, which ultimately led to the young girl’s murder by his psychopath ex-boyfriend.
Sudberry’s presentation started with screening of a TV film telling the story of how the relationship started and how it turned into an unhealthy and abusive affair because of the obsession of the boyfriend to control Kaity’s every move, including stalking her, and his refusal to accept the fact that the relationship was over. Kaity was ultimately shot dead by her ex boyfriend with a shotgun, who also committed suicide with the same weapon after the murder.
Sudberry told the SMS students that her daughter could not be protected by law as the Arizona legislation at the time did not provide for protection against potential victims in dating relationships. She told the student body that after the death of her stepdaughter she had collaborated with a state senator to introduce new legislation to widen police protection for abused partners to include dating relationships, a law known as Kaity’s Law.
In explaining her motives to protect other potential victims of unhealthy relationships, Sudberry told SMS students she said she wanted to make sure that young people are aware of the signs that could herald negative tendencies in a dating relationship like use of derogatory language, excessive enthusiasm to be together all the time and dislike of friends and family.
As for advice on how to get out of such problematic situations, Sudberry stressed one point repeatedly: “Only you can fix the situation for yourself,” she said. She suggested that young people in difficult relationships should seek advice from family, friends and other people of wisdom, but it was up to the individual to make the decision and to take the steps to implement that decision.
Following Sudberry, Pat Hamilton of Stettler Victim Services addressed the SMS students to inform them that unlike in Arizona, there was legislation in place in Canada to allow them to seek protection from the police and she urged her listeners not to refrain from reaching out for help when they feel they need it.