Library helps relationships, too

LITERALLY YOURS

You and your wife/girlfriend have been stuck inside all week because of the freezing arctic wind and it looks like the following week is going to be more of the same.

You have hit a stumbling block with the crown moulding installation because you don’t know the difference between an inside left and an outside right. You are driving each other crazy with the nagging and complaining but you cannot afford an expensive night on the town to get rid of the tension.

This economy has had the same effect on relationships that a punch to the stomach has on a person’s sense of safety and wellbeing: not good.

Somewhere along the line (I’m guessing roughly 10,000 years ago) it was decided that in lieu of emotional availability, men could trade material goods (such as food, shiny stuff and designer sabretooth loincloths) for physical affection and carnal congress. And for a while it was good.

Then the economy became a real bummer and the whole program went spinning off into the sun.

So for a cheap date idea, why don’t you and your wife/girlfriend come to the Stettler Public Library and become a member.

The Stettler Public Library has lots of free stuff that you can sign out with a membership. There are new books, old books and how-tos of all ilks, for free (not to mention copies of books like Position of the Day: Sex Every Day in Every Way).

The library also has movies, magazines, audio books and television shows. If you are not afraid to ask a very wholesome seeming woman where the Kama Sutra is, you can get that too.

How does this help your relationship?

It helps your relationship the same way that purchasing any of these fine entertainment products might.

So, make a trip to the library, look up a few dirty words in the gigantic dictionary, check out The Notebook and pick a book out for your wife/girlfriend and have her do likewise for you. Because the items are due back on a certain date, it’ll force you to actually read it, watch it or listen to it with speed.

But remember the most important way to save your relationship, don’t forget to check out the home improvement books because the crown moulding must be installed properly or you will never hear the end of it.