A fun training manual for handling cows

At the time of this column’s publication, the 4-H Beef club will be busy at their show and sale

At the time of this column’s publication, the 4-H Beef club will be busy at their show and sale, so I will share with you the results next week. Hope they all have a great time and a successful show.

The community garage sale was well attended and the lunch by the Drop-in ladies was much appreciated, because even though it was warm outside, sitting inside on that cold cement got us all chilled. Unfortunately, we all have too many things to bring home, so hopefully we will work out the kinks and next time there will be more sold and less to bring home. Thanks to all who attended.

Next up on the community calendar will be Angie and Joe’s shower on Monday, June 9 at 7:30 and the Rumsey Connection Golf Tournament over at the Trochu Golf Club on June 12 starting at 5 p.m. If you haven’t signed up yet for the golfing, give Elaine Weisse or Dariel McNaughton a call at 403-368-2225 and 403-368-2134 respectively.

Since it is the season where we are busy with branding calves and moving those pairs out to pasture, I thought I would share with you this fun little training manual that my kids and I developed one day while we were waiting in the pasture for the ‘boss’ to return with the truck and trailer.

Level 1: You are a POST. You may take a step in any direction but do not wave your arms or make any sudden noise, this will cause you to incur the wrath of the Supreme Cattle Cutter (known from now on as the S.C.C.). If you ask any questions about what you are expected to do, you will only receive the elusive answer “You should know”.

Level 2: You are still a POST but you have been granted the opportunity to move two or three steps in any direction and wave your arms if only absolutely required. Keep in mind that you must always watch that cow; other cows that may or may not be allowed into the same area; other cattle cutters and the S.C.C. (who could be anywhere, even standing in front of the gate you thought he wanted the cow to go through – the thoughts of the S.C.C. are often difficult to interpret).

Level 3: If you have made if this far, I congratulate you. Now you would be a beginner cattle cutter. You must now enter the herd, find the appointed animal (usually only distinguishable by a faded ear tag and some weird feature like bent ear, dime-sized spot on right rib, three tits or six tits, you get the idea). Now separate this animal from all her friends, taking her to places unknown and forms of torture only she can imagine. This job is easier to do if the S.C.C. is not present, and often the cows like it this way as well. This position often comes with a lot of abuse from the S.C.C. Do not be discouraged. Picturing him being trampled in a good old fashion stampede helps to alleviate the pressure, also, having other beginner cattle cutters in the coral helps to spread out the blame.

Level 4: You have now reached the last training level. You will now be called upon to be with the S.C.C. whenever there is cattle work to be done. (Yuck) (At this point, it is good to ask the neighbors or friends to join in. The S.C.C. must behave or everyone will know how crazy he gets). At this point you must be in the right spot at all times and this spot could change in a blink of an eye and there is no way to predict this unless you can read the S.C.C.’s mind. If you can do this, you will go far, my friend!

Level 5: You have now reached the level of Supreme Cattle Cutter. (This can only be obtained through great pain and many years of frustration and, of course, retirement of the original S.C.C. so it may never happen – don’t get your hopes up) All hail the great leader! You are now at the level where you Know All and will Tell No One.