A fun training manual for handling cows

At the time of this column’s publication, the 4-H Beef club will be busy at their show and sale

At the time of this column’s publication, the 4-H Beef club will be busy at their show and sale, so I will share with you the results next week. Hope they all have a great time and a successful show.

The community garage sale was well attended and the lunch by the Drop-in ladies was much appreciated, because even though it was warm outside, sitting inside on that cold cement got us all chilled. Unfortunately, we all have too many things to bring home, so hopefully we will work out the kinks and next time there will be more sold and less to bring home. Thanks to all who attended.

Next up on the community calendar will be Angie and Joe’s shower on Monday, June 9 at 7:30 and the Rumsey Connection Golf Tournament over at the Trochu Golf Club on June 12 starting at 5 p.m. If you haven’t signed up yet for the golfing, give Elaine Weisse or Dariel McNaughton a call at 403-368-2225 and 403-368-2134 respectively.

Since it is the season where we are busy with branding calves and moving those pairs out to pasture, I thought I would share with you this fun little training manual that my kids and I developed one day while we were waiting in the pasture for the ‘boss’ to return with the truck and trailer.

Level 1: You are a POST. You may take a step in any direction but do not wave your arms or make any sudden noise, this will cause you to incur the wrath of the Supreme Cattle Cutter (known from now on as the S.C.C.). If you ask any questions about what you are expected to do, you will only receive the elusive answer “You should know”.

Level 2: You are still a POST but you have been granted the opportunity to move two or three steps in any direction and wave your arms if only absolutely required. Keep in mind that you must always watch that cow; other cows that may or may not be allowed into the same area; other cattle cutters and the S.C.C. (who could be anywhere, even standing in front of the gate you thought he wanted the cow to go through – the thoughts of the S.C.C. are often difficult to interpret).

Level 3: If you have made if this far, I congratulate you. Now you would be a beginner cattle cutter. You must now enter the herd, find the appointed animal (usually only distinguishable by a faded ear tag and some weird feature like bent ear, dime-sized spot on right rib, three tits or six tits, you get the idea). Now separate this animal from all her friends, taking her to places unknown and forms of torture only she can imagine. This job is easier to do if the S.C.C. is not present, and often the cows like it this way as well. This position often comes with a lot of abuse from the S.C.C. Do not be discouraged. Picturing him being trampled in a good old fashion stampede helps to alleviate the pressure, also, having other beginner cattle cutters in the coral helps to spread out the blame.

Level 4: You have now reached the last training level. You will now be called upon to be with the S.C.C. whenever there is cattle work to be done. (Yuck) (At this point, it is good to ask the neighbors or friends to join in. The S.C.C. must behave or everyone will know how crazy he gets). At this point you must be in the right spot at all times and this spot could change in a blink of an eye and there is no way to predict this unless you can read the S.C.C.’s mind. If you can do this, you will go far, my friend!

Level 5: You have now reached the level of Supreme Cattle Cutter. (This can only be obtained through great pain and many years of frustration and, of course, retirement of the original S.C.C. so it may never happen – don’t get your hopes up) All hail the great leader! You are now at the level where you Know All and will Tell No One.



Just Posted

Red Deer will officially be the home of the Canadian Finals Rodeo

CFR has potential to bring in an economic impact of $20-30 million

UPDATE: Highway 2 lanes were closed due to milk truck fire near Millet

A southbound truck hauling milk and cartons collided with a bridge

What to do after online accounts are hacked

Facebook, email and other accounts hold vital information

PETA picking wrong bone with meat tax

Science shows vegetarian diet doesn’t lessen cancer risk

Rumsey Coyote Derby promises a lot of fun

Rumsey 4-H kids heading to beef congress

Erskine Professional Motocross Athlete appears in Edmonton

Chad Bauman performs as part of ‘Ground and Gravity’

Suspected Toronto serial killer targeting gay community arrested

A 66-year-old man is charged with first-degree murder in disappearance of two Toronto men

Barenaked Ladies, Steven Page, to be inducted into Canadian Music Hall of Fame

Canadian band to get top honours at 2018 JUNO Awards

B.C. out of the running for Amazon’s next headquarters

Toronto is the only Canadian city left in the running despite the province backing Metro Vancouver’s bid for new Amazon headquarters

Post interest rate hike debt tips

What to do about your debt and mortgages after the interest rate hike

Foreign workers sleeping in Alberta Burger King basement

Alberta Health Services said its inspectors found foreign workers sleeping in the basement of the Lethbridge restaurant

Court application halts release of bread price-fixing documents

Bread price-fixing documents won’t be unsealed Thursday, Loblaw says

Pharrell and N.E.R.D to headline NBA All-Star halftime show

11-time Grammy winner Pharrell and his hip hop-rock band N.E.R.D. will headline the halftime show at the 2018 NBA All-Star game in Los Angeles

Heritage Minister wants zero tolerance for harassment in entertainment industry

Heritage Minister Melanie Joly had two meetings to discuss harassment in the film, TV and theatre worlds

Most Read

Weekly delivery plus unlimited digital access for $50.40 for 52 issues (must live within 95 kilometers of Stettler) Unlimited Digital Access for one year for $50.40 Prefer to have us call you? Click here and we’ll get back to you within one business day.