Taking breaks has never been my strong suit.
I’ve always tended to push myself as hard and as long as possible.
The problem with this mentality is that, sooner or later, something is going to break.
Couple that with a pre-disposition to depression and anxiety and sprinkle in long-standing exposure to trauma and the ingredients are set for not-good things to happen.
When I worked in EMS, I had the mentality of being “All in, all the time.”
In all honesty, that mentality nearly killed me.
It left no balance.
It left no time for family.
It left no time for wellness.
All it left was time for the job, which was all-consuming.
It left me suicidal, depressed, and broken.
I am grateful my relationship survived the job and then the, in hindsight, all-but-predictable fallout which occurred when my mind splintered from the stresses sending me into a multi-year recovery arc from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
While I still push hard in my current role as a journalist and editor for Black Press, it has taken considerable restraint to not find myself falling into old habits.
The thing is while pushing hard, training hard, and being motivated are all positives, without adequate recovery and rest, over time these things will result in a net negative in effectiveness.
People can’t concentrate properly when they are tired.
People begin making more mistakes when they are tired.
People can’t be present for their loved ones when work has their attention diverted.
In fact, fatigue is such an issue it is why pilots and long-haul drivers have a maximum number of hours they are allowed to work; if they push beyond the maximums set in the rules, mistakes can happen, often with deadly consequences.
As counter-intuitive as it is, sometimes pulling back is what you have to do in order to drive yourself forward.
Look at an arrow; you need to draw the arrow back on the string to energize the bow, then letting go of the arrow lets it fly. Without the backward motion, there would be no forward motion.
Rest is important.
Sleep is important.
These are things that I wish I would have learned in my twenties, not my forties, but here we are.
The last few weeks have been busy, and I am definitely feeling the fatigue creeping into my body.
I’m also catching it in my work, with a few minor errors having been pointed out to me in recent days.
On one hand, I’m human, so I’m trying not to let them bother me.
On the other, as someone who strives to perform at an extremely high level, it is an irritant and a sign that my balance is off.
That’s why I’m going to be taking off for a week for some much-needed holidays.
It will be an opportunity to recharge both physically and creatively, reconnect with my wife, and visit with some friends.
As part of our holidays, we are going to be taking in the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo.
While my wife hasn’t missed an Expo almost since its inception, I took a several-year hiatus when my mental health was at its worst. However, since the pandemic, I have returned and been enjoying the experiences.
I’ve had the opportunity to meet some celebrities over the years like Robert Patrick, Nathan Fillion, Jewel Staite, Nolan North, and a few others, as well as attend a wide variety of writing and creative panels.
I look forward to disconnecting and returning reinvigorated.
- Kevin Sabo is an editor and journalist for Black Press Media.