FAITH AND REFLECTION — Life is not always fair! How many times have you heard that statement? How many times have you made that statement? I can’t debate the declaration, but I would like to qualify it.
Some time ago, a lady shared a portion of her life story with me. As her narrative unfolded, I contemplated her words and I remember thinking, life isn’t fair! With her permission, and assigning her the name of Nancy, I’m going to share her remarkable account.
Nancy was raised in a home where the father was terribly abusive, both verbally and physically. Her older siblings pleaded with their mother to leave their father. They said, “Mom, we would prefer that you leave and know that we have a mother out there who is alive, rather than have you stay and let dad kill you!”
The mother followed the admonition of her children, removing herself from the home and her abusive husband. However, that left the children in a single-parent home … with the abusive father! The anger, wrath and scorn of the father was now unleashed exclusively on the children.
Nancy shared that the verbal abuse was the worst. Her dad constantly pummeled them with scathing remarks about their looks, intelligence and worthlessness. As she became older, she realized that the things that her father had told her had become ingrained into her very being, resulting in negative beliefs, destructive tendencies and a self-image that would fit into a proverbial thimble.
As an adult, Nancy became a Christian, and she immediately began enjoying the freedom and forgiveness of Christ. However, it wasn’t until later that healing from her abusive past took place. A Christian lady told her that even as a Christian, she would continue to live in a degree of defeat as long as she chose to believe what her father had told her about herself. Consequently, she made the decision to begin reconstructing how she viewed herself on the basis of what God taught her in His word, rather than what her dad told her in her childhood.
Nancy later said, “I have learned that I cannot change the things that have happened to me, but I can control and change how I react to what has happened to me.” She added that destructive behaviour is a thing of the past and that she has forgiven her father and maintains a positive relationship with him. Nancy is currently enrolled in a seminary working towards a counselling degree.
So, it is true … life is not always fair, but God is always faithful!
“You know that the Lord your God is the only true God. So love Him and obey His commandments and He will faithfully keep His agreement with you … .” (Deuteronomy 7:9)